Nicknames

As we were walking up the hall this morning, one of my little girls came up and said, "Do you know what my new nickname is?"

I replied that I didn't, and she answered, "It's B.C."

Before I could ask the obvious question, she answered it for me.  "Mr. S gave it to me.  It stands for Birth Control."

...........?


As I leaned against the wall gasping for air, she told me the story.

In her words:

"My friend yelled at me yesterday in Mr. S's class and he thought they said Birth Control.  So that's my new name."






Honestly, a day with some kids is the best form of birth control you can get, I have to agree.

This Lil Piggy...

One of my little girls was trying to figure out the density of a sample she had been measuring.  She had taken the volume and the mass and was using a calculator to work out the density.  I normally hate calculators, but I just didn't have classtime to devote to the long division.

She kept typing the numbers into the calculator and restarting, getting more and more frustrated each time she started over.  Hoping to avoid controversy, I just observed, not saying anything.

Finally, she dropped it on the desk and looked up. "Mr. Hall!" she yelled.  "My fingers is trying to punch in the numbers, but they're too fat and the numbers is too skinny!"

Exactly how does one exercise their fingers?  My only thought was digging for nose gold.

With a Shovel...

We were doing an experiment in science class, and part of their assignment was to find the mass of some marbles.  The students were using a small electronic scale with a flat top. 

I was attempting to give some guidance on how to mass the marbles without them rolling off the scale.  "Take your little cup and lay it on the scale.  You should have the mass of the cup showing." I said.  They had to get rid of that number in order to find the mass of JUST the marbles.  We had been over this before, so I asked, "Now what do you hit?"

A voice from the back answered, "Rock bottom!"

They were right.

Flying Monkeys

We were talking about natural parks in social studies class.  For an assignment, I had them to create a nature park poster talking about how to protect a park that they imagined.  One of my little boys is quite obsessed with monkeys, so his park was monkey-themed, of course.

He was showing his poster off to the class and sharing his great love of monkeys with us.  Then,he proceeds to tell us that one of his strategies to protect his park was to put the monkeys in their pockets for protection.

All I could think of was the phrase, "monkey in my pocket."  But I didn't break.  I didn't laugh or giggle (though I will admit to a wicked smile).

Then, in a fit of imagination of pretending he was smuggling his beloved monkeys, he leans over and starts screaming at his belly (I hope), "Bad monkey!  No biting!"

I had to walk outside.

The Truth

In class today, the kids were filling out a worksheet.  One question asked:

Geography is _______________________________________.  Of course, it was looking for a definition.

One little boy had a better answer.

He wrote in, "Hard".

This Isn't the Place...

We were in class one day and I notice one of my little girls scribbling away on her notepad.  Since we were conducting an experiement that didn't require so much writing, I assumed she was writing a note to one of her buddies.

"Hey, put the note away or I'll read it to everyone." I told her.

She looked at me like I was an idiot and replied, "If I was going to write a note, I'd wait til I got to math class.  Duh."

I should probably tell the math teacher, but what fun would that be?   Besides, I have a hunch she knows already.

Back to the Future...

Kids today have a way of making you feel old, even if you don't feel it normally.

One day, one of my little boys brings up a box of sports cards.  "Will you watch these for me today so I don't lose them?" he asks.

My students always bring me stuff they don't want to lose.  I told him to put them in a certain spot that I could watch.  However, he wanted to be sure I understood the importance of his loot.

"Some of these are collectibles, and some are really old," he told me.  "Some of them are even from the 19's!"

Really, guy?  Really?

Guess that proves that my generation had the coolest stuff after all.

Cuppa Joes?

Sometimes kids come from homes where there's more people than a traditional family.  They may have cousins or uncles living with them for a while. 

One day, one of my little boys comes up to me and just stares for a moment.  Finally, I say, "Can I help you?"

He nods thoughtfully and says, "There's two Joe's at my house.  Big Joe and Little Joe."

"Ok," I replied.

"You're somewhere in the middle of my Joe's." he informed me.

So I'm officially in between Joes at the moment.

Sorry! Another Twin Story

Sorry for the delay, folks!  I got a new computer at school where I update and there have been some technical issues.  But, I'm back online now and will resume (hopefully) daily posting.

I have two sets of twins in my classes, all girls.  Luckily, I don't have them together in class.  Anyway, I have helpers  to pass stuff out for me during class.  My science is all hands-on, so we use a lot of materials sometimes.  Well, one day, I had half the class passing stuff out.  One twin passed out sugar for me (for an experiment on solubility, I swear) and the other twin passed out cups. 

Later in the day, we needed more sugar.  So I tell the twin I thought had passed out the sugar originally to give all the groups a little more sugar.  She yells, "Ok!" and jumps up.

Before she can get any farther, her twin sister jumps up and says, "Hey!  I passed out the sugar, she passed out the cups!" 

The first twin looks offended and says, "No, I passed out the sugar, YOU passed out the cups." 

Then, to the classes amazement, they begin a heated (as heated as two sixty pound girls can get while wearing more pink than a Barbie dreamhouse) argument about who passed out what.

I had to stop them.  "Girls, if you can't keep track, we don't have a prayer."  I had them both pass out sugar.  It was easier and saved lives.

Story Time

I have a set of twins in my class.  They are two little girls who are hilarious.  Both are very skinny, and one is talkative and the other is quiet.

At the end of class, I asked if anyone had anything to share.  One of the twins raised their hand.  I called on her and she proceeds to tell me about her kicking her sister out of thier mom's belly because, "She was in a hurry and pushed me out."  As she would stop talking, the other would chime in with a detail.

"Hold up," I said.  "Are you seriously telling me the story of your birth?"  This was a new one, and I thought that I'd heard everything.

"Yep," one of the twins confirmed.  Then they finished their story together about how big they were and how good they could kick and how their mom was SO glad to get them out.

I guess kids today DO have good memories.  And to be honest, I'd have stopped the story if I could have quit laughing.