Bloody Battles

When I first started teaching, along with my science, I also taught 5th grade social studies, which focuses on U.S. History. Children's innocence amazes and astounds me every day, but one day in particular stands out.

We were discussing the Civil War, and I was really going into detail on the horror of war and the insane situation of having to fight your own country and just why the two sides were so desperate to beat the other. At some point, I mentioned that the battle (I know longer remember which battle) lasted all day. At this point, one of my little girls got a curious look and raised her hand.

I have always told my students that curiosity is a wonderful thing and they are allowed to ask questions in the middle of a lecture as long as they raise their hand and I call on them. Seeing her hand, I called and asked what she wanted to know.

With a truly worried look, she asked, "If they fought all day, did they stop and take snack breaks every couple hours?"

That's funny enough, but even funnier is that no one else in the room thought there anything strange at all with that. Perfectly reasonable, in their minds, for two warring factions to halt hostilities and engage in a quick snack.

And that's why I love teaching.

Lonely

At bus call at our school, how we handle it is that our secretary calls each class one at a time to have the students go down to wait in the cafeteria for their bus. My class, more or less, always leaves as a group. However, there are usually a few stragglers that just can't pack their stuff up quite as fast as the others. As they called my room one day, the class got up and left as a group, except for one little boy. This little boy is not usually a straggler, but had more than he usually did and was having trouble getting it ready to go. He looked up and saw he was alone, so he yelled, “Hey, why are you leaving me? I deserve to be loved!” in his most dramatic voice to the retreating backsides of his classmates.

Old Time Morals

As a science teacher, I have several class pets. Some of my favorite are a small rodent called a degu. They are super energetic, don't bite, and hilarious to watch.

For the longest time, I only had one male. They're hard to find where we live and the pet stores only seemed to carry boys. Finally, I visited one day and behold, they had a little girl. So I got her. As instructed, I placed her container next to my degu's cage so that they could get used to one another and not fight. I left her there for an entire day.

The next day, I got ready to throw her in with him. My class was working (supposedly) as I walked over to the degus to put them together. I picked up the girl, opened the aquarium lid, and was getting ready to throw her in when I heard a heart-stopping scream.

Scared to death, I turned, still holding the female degu, to see what the commotion was about. Staring at me, wide-eyed, was a little girl. "You can't put them together!" she screamed.

"Why not?" I asked, not having a clue what the problem was. The kids all knew I wanted a set so that I could have little degus. I had followed all the rules and done all that I could to make the transition harmless for the little rodents. I couldn't imagine what the problem was.

“Because,” she stated matter-of-factly, “they’re not married yet.”